The old running guys

This has been a week to think about growing old.  I'm not talking about myself, at present anyway, despite an aching knee and limited mobility.  Considering that I won't have a "real" job for about a year and a half, I feel young and ready to get started.  That aching knee will be healed in another few months, if I play my cards right now.  What I mean is that a series of coincidences in reading and observing have made really think about aging, both in terms of the future and in terms of how those thoughts might change my present actions. 

In my neigborhood there are a group of men -- old men -- who seem to be out running constantly.  One is so thin and his skin so slack that he is nearly cadaveric.  He runs every day, shirtless in the summer, wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt at other times.  I see him walking with his wife and dog at other times, and he seems to be enjoying himself although I've never seen him smile.  Another lives only a few houses down, not so thin, but is even more dedicated.  He shuffles, hunched over, for hours at a time.  He often runs with his son, who slows his pace to allow the father to keep up.  He's not so old, perhaps, but he runs like it, so in this context it counts.  There is a white-bearded man whom I see less frequently, because he lives in a different part of the neighborhood.  He seems really old, and although his gait is steadier and stronger than the other two, his muscles hang from the bones.  You can see traces of what must have been a strong frame.  There is the still-very-fit but aging man who runs bolt upright with a dog tag on.  His flesh is in no way slack, and  I would like to have him on my side in a fight, if the idea of me in a fight weren't so patently ridiculous.  Finally, there are dozens of other old men who run in and around my neighborhood, whom I don't know but I'm sure have running stories just the same.


I read a fantastic article in the New Yorker (the link is not to the article but to a poorly written "abstract" of it), an essay by the poet Donald Hall, as he considered his own aging from his armchair looking out of his window.  I also came across a great how-to-live-your-life-from-the-perspective-of-the-deathbed essay by way of a Facebook posting.  The subject is trite but I was touched.  It wasn't about aging, per se, but was about the regrets that people have before they die.  Aging is a bit of a foreign territory for me; although I am a physician and have helped people through the processes of aging and dying, the vast majority of my training and experience are with children.  I suppose as anyone's parents age this becomes a little more familiar, but for me it is only just starting to really seep into my everyday consciousness.

Where does this leave me?  Certainly not thinking about mortality yet, but thinking a little bit more acutely about how I want to live life.  As my faithful readers will know, creating and inhabiting a home has been at the forefront of my mind, especially as we (my wife and I) are still recovering from too many moves in too short a period, and as our children grow into personhood and develop their own sense of home.  I realized today in the car that up until now I have been framing this as a question of living in the present -- i.e. if I could only live in the present more fully, none of the moving around and uncertainty about the future would matter so much.  But perhaps I should frame it in the opposite way:  I am focusing so much about living in the present that I lose sight of thinking about the future in a meaningful way.  Watching the old men run brings the future back into focus, for a time.

Life from the couch

It has been a week since my knee surgery. The operation went pretty much as planned (I will scan and post photos sometime soon), with some degeneration but no actual tear of my meniscus. The whole problem was that the meniscus was abnormally shaped to begin with ("discoid" - a flat disk rather than a wedge or saucer shape), leaving it more susceptible to injury and more biomechanically abnormal than most. Could this explain the longstanding pattern of right-sided injuries in my past?

In any case, I have progressed from spending most of the day on my couch with occasional crutch forays about the house, to spending most of the day at work with plenty of couch time at home and occasional walking without crutches. It is a bit of a struggle to keep the knee rested when not doing PT, but frequent icing and elevation have helped. It is satisfying to have tangible and daily progress in how much I am able to do and tolerate, although the slow and incremental nature of the progress makes it very hard to picture a return to "normal" activity. As a friend said to me yesterday, though, I do have the rest of my life...

The side benefit of being less active at home is twofold. First, I have had some of the most pleasurable reading time in recent years, including a bicycle repair manual, journal articles for work, and luxuriously long New Yorker articles on random topics. I have to grudgingly admit that there has been some attenuation of my attention span due to Facebook, Twitter, the iPhone, and other information streams; so now it is nice to be able to (or really, to be unable to do anything but) read. Second, the current situation has opened up new ways of interacting with my children. Today we spent some truly fun time just lounging on the couch and watching a movie together. Less fun is when the three of them squeal as they run off with my crutches, brace, ace bandages, ice packs, etc.; even so I secretly revel in being able to watch them have so much fun.

Finally, I have to point out how generous, caring, and wonderful my wife has been through the process. The first few days after surgery I could do almost nothing, so I got to be there for whole days to watch and listen to Jess as a mother: a patient, creative, effective, and energetic parent. This, in addition to taking care of a fourth "child" who just happens to be her poor postoperative husband.

Not exercising is a challenge, but the longer I am able to make peace with limitations now, the sooner I will be back out there.

Retrospective and Resolutions

I conceived of this post as a 2011 retrospective, with some 2012 resolutions thrown in.  Having looked back on the year through iPhoto, Facebook timeline, and this blog, I came away with a few surprises and a few memories.  Current state probably influences memory more than the past events themselves, so I will say that after a wonderful few days at home, a great afternoon, and a cold beer in the backyard while the kids played, the year's memories seem pretty darn good.  I don't think that's far from the truth.

As far as fitness goes, this was an odd year.  My knee has been "acting up" since October 2010 (and was probably injured about a year before that), so my running has been just weird.  I had a good training cycle through the fall of 2010 despite the knee, and this paid off big time in February 2011 with a P.R. marathon here in town.  Running since then has been spotty, and I am in fact having surgery on my right lateral meniscus in three days.  I do think there is a good chance it will help, and look forward the the post-rehab "Don't call it a comeback..."  The beauty of an injury, in truth, is that it helps you focus on other things.  In no particular order, I have spent a lot of time on yoga, lifting, and road biking.  A highlight of the year was traveling to Georgia with my good friend Gary and riding the Three Gap Fifty, the mini-version of the Six Gap Century.  Yoga has acted as a semi-spiritual bridge between working out and meditation (a need previously fulfilled by running).  Lifting continues to feel good.  Currently, I have also sprained my right wrist, so all my activities are limited, but that, too, has its place and time.

Food has been another focus of the year.  As with most of us, I have been trying to get ride of that "last" 5 or 10 pounds for quite a while -- don't worry, I don't think I'm fat, but I know my weight and body shape when I've been really fit.  After some unsuccessful and perhaps fairly insincere attempts to eat better or less, I finally gave the "Paleo" concept a try, and holy shit, it worked.  For six weeks, six days a week, I ate only meat, vegetables, fruit, beans, and nuts/seeds.  Beer was allowed.  The seventh day was "cheat day."  By the end of the six weeks I had lost 7-8 pounds, was fitting into pants I haven't worn since 2004, and definitely noticed an improvement in energy level.  I try very hard to avoid proselytizing diets (or anything, for that matter), and I am still working to integrate this into my everyday, permanent life -- perhaps cycling the diet for six weeks on and two weeks off -- but it has been quite a good thing for me at this time.

Although this has been primarily a "fitness" blog - a little more varied than in 2010 since I haven't been able to run much, there are more important things in life than fitness.  What else has happened this year?  I continue to enjoy and treasure my family - my wife and our three children - as we grow and develop a sense of internal home-ness. Slowly but surely we are moving forward from the utter shock (and awe) of raising young children after a fairly active and free single and early married life.  We are fortunate to be living near my parents, and to be involved in a wonderful church (not coincidentally, the church I grew up in).  It has been challenging to continue moving around while I complete (slog through?) medical training:  challenging to develop a true feeling of home, challenging to nurture friendships and relationships, andchallenging to feel settled.  We do have wonderful friends here, wonderful friends elsewhere, and a large and loving extended family.

Our major vacation this summer was a long road trip to visit old friends and see family, and it was a true highlight of the year.  This was actually an awakening to what adventures we are capable of in this (still) new phase of life.  While the road trip may have been a crystallizing event, gardening has been the slow-burn, everyday reminder of family togetherness, growth, creativity, and fun.  We are fortunate in Florida to have two growing seasons per year, and although the productivity may not have been high, it has been a tonic to prepare the earth and plant with the children, to eat fresh herbs every night with dinner, and to go and inspect the rows every evening.

Looking forward by first looking backward:  how did the resolutions for 2011 hold up (the first list was of general goals, the second list was fitness-related goals)?
1) Presence.
   --> sometimes2) Develop the less cynical, humbler, and less judgmental self.
  --> still needs to come out3) Meet Jess's needs and wants before my own.
  --> I hope this happened enough, but I want to make it happen much more.4) Garden and eat the food!
  --> Yes!!

1) Maintain consistently healthful diet - devise a sustainable way to deal with temptations, convenience, etc.

  --> Finally, yes.

     - This includes reducing caffeine intake to a reasonable level.

          --> A cruel joke.
2) Regular yoga to lead to meditation alone.

  --> Not yet, but working on it.
3) Real periodization of training. (i.e. approach it like real training!)

  --> Some success

3) Regular cycling and leg strength training to begin after February marathon, to prevent recurrence of knee injury

  --> Happening

4) Regular speed/tempo training (running).

  --> For the future.

6) Repeat p90x with Jess!! (Start date: mid-March)

  --> Not interested for now.

7) Plan +/- train for ultramarathons to progress to 100 mile run.

  --> For the future

8) Less drama about getting up for pre-dawn workouts - just do it.

  --> Unsuccessful.

So what about 2012 resolutions?  Here is what I had come up with as of New Year's Eve:
1. Bike to work consistently.
2. Less caffeine.
3. Regular time of day for exercise.
4. Focus on injury prevention
5. Tolerate more "chaos" at home -- a combination of being present and controlling anxiety!
6. Continue cycled paleo diet.
7. Make a career decision (i.e. get a job versus further training) and don't look back.


But, just today I saw that a friend had posted Woody Guthrie's 1942 New Years Resolutions, which summarize the heart of the matter far better.  So, I leave you with that.

Ephemera

There have been some very memorable moments in the last few weeks, and I even jotted (or the modern equivalent) a few of them down.

Two weekends ago, when the weather was a bit hot, I took a nice long bike ride, added too much powder to my Gatorade, and had to drink a syrupy concoction for nearly three hours. On the plus side, I ran afterwards, making that my first brick in at least five years! I'm not planning a triumphant return to triathlon anytime soon, but it felt pretty good. On same bike ride I had a long burst of unexpected energy - not from a tailwind as is the usual cause.

A more exquisite and ephemeral moment was the first bite of a porcini and truffle oil risotto at a local restaurant (Sabore) in the midst of a very fun dinner with Jess and my parents. In my reality, a slow dinner talking with friends and family ranks right up there with a great run as one of life's true pleasures.

Somewhere in the last two weeks, Max was tired and sat still in my arms while I sang to him. He is rarely still, so just as the other day when he fell asleep across my chest it was sublime. The irony is that we have seen many different sides of Max after an accident/incident one week ago. He had his little toe partially amputated in a recliner, and after a few days of staying calm, the gruesomeness and fear started to sink in for me. It is too easy to brush it off as something minor that will have no lasting impact (which it won't), but really I think this was a big deal for us. No coincidence that for the few days he couldn't walk, his language development went crazy.

Otherwise, life has been good. Work is more stressful than I like, but I am finding much joy at home. Jess and I are both being reasonably good with the paleo-esque diet we are practicing. I've been enjoying workouts but frustrated by a mystery wrist sprain. I am looking forward to run again (more than my current 20-30 minutes), but also enjoy being motivated to cycle more by my friend Gary.

All for now.

Back to borrowed basics

Tonight's workout was simple and old-school:  50 pull-ups, 100 push-ups, one-arm single-leg deadlifts, and a running form exercise.  The fun part, I realized as I finished, is that each part is borrowed.  Here's how it broke down:

The pull-up / push-up section, while not an original concept, was taken almost verbatim from Dean Karnazes, in a Runner's World blog post on cross training.
15 standard pull-ups
15 behind neck pull-ups
15 chin-ups
5 standard / chin switch grip
40 standard push-ups (with bars)
20 triangle push-ups
20 wide grip push-ups (with bars)
20 standing (pike) push-ups (with bars)
These were mixed around in various sets.

The one-arm single-leg deadlift is an exercise originally given to me by a physical therapist, and then written about by Tim Ferriss in the Four Hour Body.  Today I did 10 on each side with 30 pound dumbbells.

Finally, the running form exercise, call the 100-up was recently found and (re-)published by Chris McDougall in the New York Times.  This one is to train my legs so I can run well when I get my knee fixed!  I did the "minor" version.

All in all, a nice workout.

-----

As I wrote last time, I have been experimenting with the Paleo diet, or at least my variation thereof.  For those who want to know, it has been:  meats, vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, and beer.  I also put a bit of soy milk into fruit and spinach smoothies.  The first week went great, although I did feel a bit hungry near the end of the week.  I had my first weekly "cheat" day, which I enjoyed, but starting again this week I have felt no real cravings for sweets or bread.  (Well, except when my kids were enjoying those sweet Hawaiian rolls that Publix sells near the fried chicken).  My compliance has been pretty darn good, if I do say.  My energy level has been noticeably more even (but am I more sensitive to lack of sleep??).  Finally, I have lost several pounds with minimal effort.  Hmmm.  The plan is to try this thing for six weeks or so and re-assess then.  So far, so good.

Mojo reclamation project

The longer you go without writing, the harder it is to start again. After a week goes by, it feels like you have to have something pretty good to say. After a month goes by, it feels like you have to write a deep, lengthy, moving account of your inner life (not too depressing, mind you). But of course, the way to start writing is to just start writing. I started this blog for that purpose, after years of almost no non-medical writing. Running was, and is, a convenient jumping off point. But as this blogging thing has faded a bit in the last few months, I miss the writing, however meager, and I miss the chance to share those random thoughts and ideas that pop into my head.

So, here's what is happening:

My knee surgery is scheduled for January 4th. My latest experiment with a joint injection worked wonders--for four weeks. I hope the surgery helps (not a guarantee by any means), and I hope I have a lot of good running years left in me. If not, thought, I am proud of the fact that I went down fighting, with a PR marathon, and proud of the fact that I have cultivated yoga, cycling, and even some lifting as darn good alternatives. Still, I really hope that sticking a scope and a few surgical instruments into my knee turns out to be a good thing. If I am permitted to remain awake to watch, I'll let you know how the video turns out.

Lifting and cycling in particular have been going well. I have adopted a set of core lifting maneuvers culled from friends, crossfit, and the four hour body, and so far I have been feeling good. These include Kettlebell swings, dead lifts (one and two arm), Turkish get ups, torture twists, and the aptly named cat vomit exercise, in addition to the calisthenics and dumbbell maneuvers that I already enjoy. My cycling resurgence is in full swing, kicked off by a recent mountain ride in Georgia, with some good training rides and another century race coming up soon. Yoga is on a bit of a hold as some weird virus has re-inflamed an old wrist injury.

I  have started a paleo-esque diet, just today, so more on that as it succeeds, evolves, or fails.

Congratulations to brother Joe for a strong finish at the Savannah Rock'N'Roll half marathon!

Finally, my family is amazing, truly amazing, and I continue to gain more satisfaction, love, and enjoyment an I thought possible out of time spent with them. Highlight of the week, month, or year perhaps:

Nice day for a run

It's been a mellow week since getting back from the bike race on Tuesday night. Took a couple of "zero days", as in zero mileage, then a short but sweet bike ride on Saturday early evening. Since the weather has turned overnight to cool(er), sunny, and dry fall days, this was an especially nice ride. I got into a groove, shifted into a big gear, and cruised.

Today I took a very pleasant run, with some pull ups and push ups at Westside Park in the middle. Did some kettlebell swings and other miscellaneous sit-up variations on returning. Again, the weather was nearly perfect. It was also nice to know that even though my knee is hurting a touch more over the last few weeks, I can still get out for a run without any problem. Not ready to go under the knife quite yet... I am still working on my pose/Chi running form, which may allow me to postpone the inevitable.

Saturday: bike 16.3 miles
Today (Sunday):
run 4.25 miles
30 pull ups
80 push ups (various)
Kettlebell swings
Swiss ball sit ups
"cat vomit" exercise
Flying dog
Bicycle crunches
Boat and variations
Plank and side plank hold

Three Gap / awash in memories

One thing that makes a race really cool for me is doing it somewhere I feel connected to.  Not that I wouldn't love to travel to do a randomly located exotic race, but I have tended to stay in places either closer to home or that have other meaning.  As an example, the ironman I did in 2003 (Great Floridian) was the same race I had a few years earlier watched a friend of mine finish, when the seed was planted for me to do that.  Most marathons and my lone ultra have been near home (Vermont City Marathon, Vermont 50, Five Points of Life in Gainesville, FL).   For bike trips, I rode Ride the Rockies in 2005, days before moving away from Colorado (also the state where both of my parents grew up).

My most recent effort, the Three Gap Fifty, fit into this pattern.  Gary Wimsett, a good friend and a fine upstanding citizen, came up with the idea after we had spent a few months discussing an adventure of some sort.  Unfortunately, we decided to go a mere six weeks before race time, leaving minimal training time.  The actual race, a road bike ride, is the "Six Gap Century," which takes place in North Georgia and has several solid climbs for a total elevation gain of 11000+ feet over 103 miles.  It sounded fun but the reality of training in flat Florida for only six weeks made us realize that the short version was a better goal.  A few of Gary's friends were doing it, and it was in an area I had visited before at least three times, for hikes on the southernmost section of the Appalachian Trail.  In fact, the place names are so burned in my memory that I felt like I would be riding through familiar territory despite never having cycled anywhere near here.   Gary and I planned to do the ride, then spend a few days hiking in the area - the makings of great road trip.

So, we trained as best we could -- in fact, as I wrote last time, I felt that the minimal but efficient training had been fruitful.  The few days before the race I felt good (though Gary was battling a respiratory infection with a little help from the pharmaceutical industry).  We packed up the car and left, each debating for a while whether we out to stick with the plan and do the 58 mile ride, or just go for the century.  As is usual for me, I changed my mind to the 100, only to change it back the morning before the race.

We met up with Gary's friends, Isaac and Dave, and stayed in Dave's brother's cabin (I think I have that right, although the "relative of a friend of a friend" relationship is a tricky one).  A fair amount of trash talking ensued as we ate a gigantic pre-race meal and watched football.  Though we went to bed early, I couldn't sleep thanks to the double espresso I had earlier that day.  Par for the course before a big event.

Riding partner, Gary

 Race day was outstanding, with temps in the high 50s and sun.  We drove to the start, and from the first few miles I knew it would be a good day.  I felt strong, and the climbs were reasonable (in fact, despite being a flatlander I felt as good as I had climbing similar hills after living and training in Colorado at altitude)  What I really enjoyed was the fun of riding, and the purity of climbing.  This is hard to explain but I have talked to others who have had the same experience -- whether walking up a long snow climb with an ice ax, pedaling in low gear for an hour straight, or running up a mountain, the meditative quality of working hard in a repetitive way while in a beautiful place is incredible.  I have never been ashamed to have and use a triple chain ring, and I used it then.  The race was well supported and the cyclists were friendly.   The toughest climb for me was Wolfpen Gap - a shorter but more consistently steep effort than the earlier longer climb up Neels Gap.  The weather got warm later in the day, but this was after the major climbs and we finished up with a sunny ride through a pleasant valley.

Recovery meal.

We finished our portion in just over 5 hours, enjoyed the post-race festivites, and went to Gary's father's house (also in the same area), where our post-race recovery "meal" spanned 48 hours.  A sampler:  spaghetti and meatballs, steak with homemade potato salad, biscuits and ham with grits and eggs, Bavarian sausage and pretzels with beer, fried chicken and potatoes, pancakes and ham.  A particularly gluttonous episode was eating and drinking the aforementioned Bavarian "snack" in Helen, GA at 3 pm knowing that friend chicken dinner awaiting us at 6 pm!  We did hike that  day, enough to loosen up our legs and enjoy the scenery (as well as make me recall, quite fondly, the 800+ mile hike I took with Jess the summer before we got married).

View from hike

Feeling good afterward

All in all, this was a great event and a great road trip.  I plan to return next year for the big boy version, and I think having that goal will provide a nice motivation to cycle more (as well as a nice distraction from not running, depending on how my knee does).  All for now.

Training - Proof of Concept // Roadkill

First, the roadkill: on the bike this morning conditions were perfect for the ripest collection of roadkill I have ever seen and smelled. I'm not sure what made all of the animals run out onto the pavement last night but the humidity was perfect for transmitting the odor of armadillo, possum, and other creatures. Yuck.

Now for the meat of the post: for years, I trained without a particularly scientific approach, except for trying to run, bike, or swim frequently and for nearly as long a distance as I would need to travel in the upcoming event. I would even say I was stubborn in this approach, since I read and spoke with many people using better and more scientific training methods. I think I accomplished a few neat things, but it wasn't until 9 months ago that I really applied some novel (to me) training techniques. Specifically, in December I got a fancy new GPS watch with a heart rate monitor. In testing out its features, I did a bunch of interval workouts, though certainly not an intentionally designed interval training program. The marathon I ran in February was a personal best, by quite a bit, beating an 8 year record for me. Not much else was different in my training, other than an injured knee and less overall training mileage. I was able to start at and maintain a faster pace and had a great race.

About six weeks ago a good friend suggested we ride an upcoming hilly road bike race in North Georgia (no, not the Tour de Georgia, but the Six Gap Century--really we haven't decided between that and the kiddie version, the "Three Gap Fifty", but I have a feeling we may say fuck it and just go for the gold). So, with little training time and few substantial hills around here, not to mention a busy work schedule, I decided upon a simple training schedule: one longer ride weekly, and one interval ride weekly, as well as some lifting, yoga, and light running. The interval rides were either a short Tabata protocol, longer power intervals on the indoor bike, or, once, 10 repeats on one of the better hills in town (Chestnut Hill). The amazing part is that today, on a short shakedown ride two days before the race, I can feel the difference in a big way. My average speed is faster, I want to ride in a higher gear, and I felt great--not really the result of tapering as I haven't been training "hard" enough for the concept to have meaning.

To some of my faithful readers this will come as no surprise, but to me it was almost a revelation: the last two training cycles produced good results with the introduction of a minimal amount of interval training. So yes, I may be the last convert, but here I am. We'll see how the ride goes, in the beautiful mountains of north Georgia and through the very mountains and gaps that loom large in my memory after many great hiking trips in that area. One in particular I remember because Jess and I had stopped there to rest and watched a sheet of driving rain pour down the mountainside, pass over us, and recede up the other side.

Finally, my knee has been quite good for the last three weeks. I have run once weekly and haven't felt pain during or afterward. It is getting stiff lately in the mornings, though, so if there is no lasting improvement after the steroid wears off, I guess I'll talk to the surgeon again...

More after the ride.

A Blog in 3 Acts: Knee, Superdad, Workouts

A blog in three parts (a la This American Life)


Act I: a knee, a needle, and running.

This morning I got my knee injected with a mixture of lidocaine (a nearly immediate-onset and short-acting anesthetic), Marcaine (longer acting anesthetic), and triamcinilone (cortisocosteroid). I did this primarily as a diagnostic step to make sure I really want/need to have surgery on the knee. Sure enough, after watching contrast fill my joint space on a fluoro (real-time X-ray) screen, and after having the medications injected, I drove home and took a run. Since running is the surest way to get my knee to hurt, I figured if this injection let me run without pain, I would know the problem is in the joint space and feel more confident about pursuing surgery.

The run was probably the most comfortable run I've had in six to eight months. Certainly it was the only one in the last five months that didn't just plain hurt. Sure, I had a few creaks that lasted the first two minutes (expected) and sure, my knee joint felt fuller (well, I had just had a teaspoon or two of extra fluid injected into the space), but man, it was so nice not feeling a deep, vague pain and a sensation of instability in that knee. I tried to play it very safe so I ran for 22 minutes around the neighborhood and stopped, despite feeling like I could have gone 15 miles. I got back and did some pushups, pull ups and kettle bell swings, iced my knee, and called it a day. At this point, the anesthetic has worn off, and the steroids have not fully kicked in, so it aches but still feels better than "usual" after a run like this. I am hopeful that in a few days it will feel good and remain that way for at least six weeks. After that, probably surgery.

So I have to sit back and wonder how I have come to this place of planning completely elective knee surgery for a problem that really only has (strong) circumstantial evidence to show that it is there. The best direct evidence I have is on MRI: a congenitally abnormal right lateral meniscus (discoid), but we have seen no tear. Why then, when six months ago I swore repeatedly that there was no way I was letting a surgeon touch my knee etc. etc., does this seem so reasonable? I'll tell you: I love running, and I can't do it. I've tried two rounds of physical therapy, four physicians in three specialties, changing my running form, resting, and cross training, and the fucker still hurts. The last straw was when, a few days before my appointment with the surgeon--a great guy, by the way--I went running and had fun for 40 minutes but my knee hurt for four days. If it doesn't work and I can't really run anymore, at least I tried. But, damn it, I still want to have a go at a few more marathons and a hundred miler, even if I only get another decade of running in.


Act II: Superdad rides again

Jess (my wife) was away for five days recently. It was planned for four days but because of a certain hurricane Irene, she was detained in Portland Maine for an extra day. I had never had all three kids for such a long time before, and certainly had a lot of help from my parents but as we ultimately settled into a rhythm I realized that this was a milestone for me: it was a positive and productive time that despite being challenging was not overwhelmingly stressful. I spent all of my waking non-work time with the children, got a much better sense of their daily routines, complete with ebbs and flows, and was so happy that Jess got to have a substantial trip both mourning the loss of her aunt and visiting with close family members.

So, Superdad rode again, and he's not even dreading his next ride...


Act III: Working Out and Lifestyle Modification

My garage "home gym" -- >

I read two interesting books by the same author recently: Four Hour Workweek, and Four Hour Body.

The first is a somewhat cohesive look at how to game the system, outsource time consuming tasks, and live a life of travel and leisure. I have to admit it has a certain appeal but seems limit for me - whose job depends on time with people, and who has three fairly young children. The take home message was setting firm limits on work and sticking to them without remorse. Easier said that done?

Four Hour Body is a less cohesive printed collection of blog entries on nutrition, weight loss, fitness, sleep, sex, and general approach to life. My favorite thing is that it doesn't claim to cure cancer or solve all problems, just provides some interesting ways to achieve certain goals that worked for the author. As such, I took a bunch of workout ideas and a few nutrition ideas and have been incorporating them into my workout rotation. As I am still struggling to reach "race weight" after sixteen months now, I may try out the food part as well...


In any case, here's a sampling of the last week or two:

Sunday, Aug 21: run 4.25 miles, proving my knee just ain't right.

Wednesday, Aug 24: 55 pull ups, 110 pushups. The pull ups are mostly standard grip with some chin up grip and a few wide and narrow grip, in sets of 2-7 The push ups are mixed standard, military, decline, and wide grip, in sets of 115. Done in mid afternoon in a local park after work.

Friday, Aug 26: indoor bike 12.5 mi hill intervals, yoga 45 minutes. The bike was s poor effort but the yoga was fantastic (dagmar's afternoon grounding practice on YouTube, if I remember correctly)

Sunday, Aug 28: Bike 40 miles in the hilliest section of town. Yes, I know in Gainesville that isn't saying much, but we tried. I rode this with my friend Gary. It was about 94 degrees with 70% humidity. We are going to north Georgia in a few weeks to ride the Three Gap Fifty, the junior partner of the Six Gap Century (http://www.cyclenorthgeorgia.com/). This will be challenging given the lack of available hills and mountains here, but we are counting on training in extreme heat and some intense intervals to pull us through...

Monday, Aug 29: Lifting for core stability, biceps, triceps, and shoulders:
Hip flexor stretch
Kettle bell swings 30 x 30 lb (my first time doing this)
Handstand pushups x 10 (with wall support!)
Swiss ball crunch x 20
Bridges x 20 and Flying Dog x 10/side (on all fours, extending opposite arm and leg)
Bicep curls max weight 6 reps
Hammer curls max weight 6 reps
Tricep overhead lift max weight 8 reps
Tricep kickback max eight 8 reps
Cat vomit exercise x 8 (this one is straight from four hour body - search for it on YouTube)
Plank hold 60sec, side plank hold 45 sec each side
Turkish getups, 20 lb dumbbell, 5/ side (again, I am a rank beginner at these)

Wednesday, Aug 31: Kettlebell swings 30 x 40 lb, torture twists 3 x 3/side (unweighted), indoor bike Tabata intervals, yoga 25 minutes (a "shiva rea" video with my own additions). Torture twists are also from the four hour body book, basically lie perpendicular to a weight bench with your butt on it and feet hooked under something solid, turning your body all the to one side then the other. These will be great when I work up to weighting them. My max instantaneous power output on the bike was 540 W. For me, this is good, and I was happy about it.

Friday, Sep 2 (today): run 22 min, kettle bell swings 35 x 40 lb, 60 pull ups and 150 push ups with bars (push ups and pull ups again a mix of styles).

Where to go from here / states

It continues to be a little bit odd to write a blog that has been about running when I haven't really been able to run in nearly four months. It's not that I don't have other things that I think about or want to write about, but the format seems to have lost its glue. I debated ending the blog entirely, putting it completely on hold until I am running again (if?), or some other dramatic gesture. But the reality is that running is just a means to an end, as much as I like it, and the blog is really about staying fit and trying to capture some meaningful and interesting moments in life.

So, what has been going on with my running? I have been continuing with physical therapy, including standard and like stretching and building strength in those sneaky weak muscle groups. But I have also been working on radically changing my running for, to something like a combination of the POSE technique, chi running, and the trendy barefoot running techiques that are out there. I suppose progress is difficult to measure when you are building from the ground up, but I have felt a natural flow s times with the new form, and can see how this could work well in the long run. Not bad, I suppose for changing a decade worth of cerebellar neural connections. So, in order, my goals are simply to be able to run again for fun and fitness, to be able to run mid or long distances and return to marathons, and to pursue the long term goal of running a 100 miler in the next 5-10 years. We shall see, but I haven't given up yet by a long shot.

In the meanwhile I have been continuing to explore yoga, lifting/calisthenics, cycling, and swimming. I haven't forgotten the 100 day clean living challenge, although the first 35 days were more successful than days 36-70. Put in the context of summer vacation, though, I suppose staying reasonably fit and eating reasonably well is success after all, even if I am no closer to returning to "race weight" now than on day 1. I will tell you that reconnecting with friends and family, which was really the unifying theme of our vacation, did resonate with the spiritual / intentional living portion of the clean living challenge, so in the last 30 days I will commit to getting back on track in all three areas: food, fitness, and compassionate, intentional living.

I have been thinking a lot lately about motivation, as I find myself noticing how widely my mood can swing during the course of a day, and I change mental-emotional states. One morning I can be fired up for the day, think about how lucky I am, make all kinds of plans for projects and trips, and a few hours later can be feeling tired and overwhelmed and without motivation to do anything at all. I notice this at work a lot, but really it applies to other areas of life too. What I came up with (during a less motivated period, even) is that I/we experience life in a series of overlapping and shifting states. These aren't meant to described in words so much, but I could certainly call one of them "post-poor-sleep-but-coffee-rally-happiness", and another "unmotivated-and-down-for-no-reason", and feeling-healthy-happy-and-mellow", or "jacked-up-and-thinking-of-a-million-things I want to do.". Etc etc. So how to live within this context? Is what works bet to manage and control the states, to switch freely between, or simply recognize and accept them? Can one change the tenor of a given state over time? am tying to pay more attention to these.

That's about it for now. A some point soon I will start posting workouts again.

Clean and fun living

Currently I'm on vacation at a beautiful lake in western Maine. Life is good.

On the advice of my physical therapist I am revamping my running form to a higher-cadence forefoot striking approach. This style has a name but I don't remember it. It is coming along but it will be a while before it feels natural or efficient. Still, if it enables a return to running I will be happy.

Eating well and trying to focus on local food. Dinner menu from last night: salad with almost all local produce, local sweet potatoes, local wine, and grass fed bison steaks. Tasted good too.

Summer rhythm

This post will be a bit shorter than usual, since I am typing on an iPad and not as used to the keyboard. It's big enough to type in standard fashion, but does require some adjustment. Why typing on an iPad? We are on our old school summer vacation, a three week family road trip extravaganza from Florida to Maine and back.

I've lost track of how far I am into the clean living challenge--probably around day 35 or so---and it is going fine. Even after three days of car travel, I have exercised 2 of those 3 days and only had one unhealthy meal. Yoga and calisthenics are great for the road.

Clean living includes keeping connections with others healthy, and from that perspective things have been great. Because we are driving up the coast, we thought we would visit as many people as we could along the way. So far we have seen family in Savannah, an old high school friend and her family, in Richmond, whom we haven't seen since before either of us had children, and good friends in Providence, where we are now. It is wonderful to actually see people, to meet their kids or see them getting bigger, and to catch up a little bit as the river of time flows by. God I'm feeling poetic. In addition to visiting friends and family, and staying at a beautiful lake for two weeks, our own family is strengthening our connection and developing/reinforcing the rituals that are the backbone of family life.

I'll post some pictures when we get to the lake. I'm off now to do some outdoor yoga in the breeze. More is to come about running and my knee also, since I had my first session with the running physical therapist back in town, and he wants me to revamp my entire stride and form. I've changed long-term habits before, but it's not easy...

Day 28/100: A lotta variety

It's been a good week+ since my last post.  My "clean living" challenge is still on.  The nutrition aspect has been fair.  I've been successful with reduced portions and very few desserts or sweets, although I am still far from true "healthy" eating (whatever that is).  Borrowed and read The Paleo Solution, which was better than expected.  Jess and I may explore the Paleo eating concept more during this 100 days, although I'm not sure it's the ultimate answer in terms of balance and healthy approach.  We will have the opportunity to eat a largely local/organic diet while vacationing this summer, so it might be a good time to experiment.  Exercise and body work are going well also, and I've detailed these below.  Finally, I think I have noticed a change in attitude, a (slightly) more relaxed and accepting approach.  Have others noticed?  Not sure.  I do feel better, but I'm not sure whether that is due more to my intentional changes or to an easier month at work and an upcoming vacation.


The workouts:

Day 20: Mountain Bike ~45 minutes; Yoga 15 minutes (surprisingly intense vinyasa flow)

Day 21: Yoga 30 min, "Yoga 201" on iPad.  This was a very nice practice, with some attention focused on balance poses including crane and sideways crow.  A bit of a breakthrough for me in terms of figuring out what to relax and what to hold in tension in order to achieve balance in these poses.

Tuesday, Day 22: Rest Day.  Although my intent was to do 100 days of yoga in a row, then 100 days of workouts in a row, I accepted a day of rest after 3 hours of sleep the night before and mental/physical tiredness.  I think this was the right thing.

Wednesday, Day 23: Road bike, 21+ miles, 96 degree heat.  Wow, I am somewhat deconditioned but very poorly heat-adapted this summer because I haven't been running.  I rode a familiar course with some very mild hills and got my heart rate up much higher than usual for a short road ride!  So I guess it was a good workout despite the objectively "easy" terrain.  Never underestimate a heat challenge.

Thursday, Day 24: Swim 1200 yards at the good old YMCA.

Friday, Day 25: VO2 Max testing,  Lifting/Calisthenics
This was a really cool day.  I had the opportunity to undergo some metabolic exercise testing on an indoor bike, equipped with oxygen and carbon dioxide sensors.  In addition to estimating my VO2 max (46 ml/kg/min - above average for my age but below average for a good athlete!!), I got a sense of my anaerobic threshold, heart rate response, and several other parameters.  This is actually pretty cool, since I am probably the least cardiovascularly fit I've been in years.  Once I get my knee in line and begin running again, I will repeat this to track progress!
Also did some pull-ups (30), core work (weighted incline situps), and bicep dumbbell sets.

Saturday, Day 26: Yoga 1:05- a fantastic practice from an iPad app ("Fire" TotalYoga TV).  This was the the fastest and most sustained vinyasa progression I've done, along with some inversion and headstand work.  In fact, I've added a few yoga poses to my Fitness Goals list, including headstand and a few others.

Sunday, Day 27: Rest Day.  Best intentions, but long day at work.

Today (Monday), Day 28: Indoor bike power intervals 9 miles / 30 minutes; lift shoulder & triceps (dumbbell work), push-ups, swim planned for tonight.


We are preparing to spend part of the summer at Kezar Lake in Western Maine, where part of Jess's family has gone for decades and where I have had the privilege of joining them now for 10+ years!  This is a relaxing, renewing spot (pictured on the top banner of this blog), and also the site of many a nice run (including a 35 miler around the lake in 2007) and a few nice rides over the years.   This will not be the summer for an epic run, but I am hoping to run a few times, swim some, and generally enjoy the area.

Knee update

I've put this in a separate post, so please skip it if you are not interested in my knee.

After 10 years of chronic intermittent knee pain that I attributed (incorrectly) to my IT band, about 8 months of worsening knee pain that I thought was in the joint but was very hard to pin down, and about 3 months since I've really run at all, I got an MRI after physical therapy did not help.  The MRI showed the suggestion of a minor medial meniscus tear and some cartilage wear just under it.  So last night I saw a PM&R doc at the orthopedic center who specializes in running medicine last night, expecting to talk about whether I need surgery for this minor tear.

Instead, after a thorough (and very instructive) history and exam, he told me very convincingly that my pain, both acute and chronic, is due to poor patellofemoral tracking, with the superolateral undersurface of the patella rubbing against the bottom of the tibia.  This is near but not identical to the where the IT band attaches, and it explains almost all of the knee pain I've ever had in this leg, from my first run-stopping episode in 2001, to the very localized stiffness during the first few hundred yards of a run that I've been feeling for the last five years or so, even to the vague pain radiating from the back of the patella to the back of my knee.  The abnormal MRI findings?  Purely incidental, as no amount of directed knee grinding could actually elicit pain.  What did elicit pain?  Him putting his finger in a certain spot and having me flex my quads.  That, my friends, elicited a lot of pain, and convinced me more than anything that he had figured out the problem.

So, basically this is a case of longstanding patellofemoral pain syndrome (PFPS) or runner's knee.  The good news is that it can be treated with physical therapy, maybe a brace, maybe a joint injection, and very unlikely to require surgery.  I'm very confident that I will be back running soon enough.

Day 19/100 clean living continues

The last week or so has been a good one for clean living.  My nutritional habits are far from perfect, but in general they have tended towards healthier and smaller portions, with less refined sugar and late-night eating.  Like I said, though, I am far from perfect, as I did enjoy a vintage cola this afternoon.  I had to laugh when I was told it is healthier because it has "real" sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  If we're going to do something unhealthy but fun, let's just admit it!   I have yet to try fasting but would still like to incorporate it in some fashion.  Perhaps skipping a meal to start?  Finally, I am reading The Paleo Solution, a book about a dietary regimen that several of my friends are following.  So far it is mildly interesting but not earth shattering.  However it is not completely full of shit (yet) so I will keep reading.  Reflecting back, I've read a lot of books like this:  Atkins's original book, one called Breaking the Sugar Addiction (probably the best one), and many vegetarian, vegan, and live food tracts.  It's interesting how they often use the same logic to reach different conclusions.  I think in the end we can approach but never reach some very difficult-to-characterize truth about nutrition that incorporates moderation, healthfulness, variety, and minimizing refined sugars.  Or, perhaps that opinion is uninformed because I have never committed to and tried any of these specific diet plans.

Yoga has been going well, although after about 14 straight days I realized that at this point a daily practice was not the best idea.  Logic as follows: (1) in order to maintain a daily practice, I had time for very little other training, working out, etc.  (2) Because of that, my daily practice had to be fairly vigorous, requiring a lot of standing poses with lunges.  (3) These were irritating my knee.  So, instead, I decided to follow my own nutrition philosophy in a different context, and started practicing moderation and variety.  Here is what I've been up to:

Day 19 (today): Yoga (~1 hour) - "Ashtanga Primary Series" from Yoga Today.  Plenty of vinyasa with some standing poses and forward bends.  Also a nice series in preparation for swinging ("floating") through from downward dog to staff pose and vice versa.  The more I explore yogatoday.com the more I am impressed.  These are some nice practices, and many are available for free on Youtube. I may overcome my cheap instincts and actually buy one from the website too.
Day 18:  Lifting.  This was like an old-school workout for me:
Repeat 4 times:  5 pullups
                         15 pushups (various types)
                         15 weighted incline situps
                         bicep dumbbells (2 sets regular, 2 sets static)
                         tricep dumbbells (2 sets bench DB raises, 2 sets kickbacks)
                         shoulder 1 (2 sets straight arm raise, 2 sets overhead press)
                         shoulder 2 (2 sets upright DB row, 2 sets DB fly)
Bonus set:  5 pullups, 15 pushups, 15 weighted incline situps
Day 17: Swim 1500 yd
Day 16: Yoga 30 minutes. "Yoga for sleep" from YogaYak

Day 15: Indoor bike 12.7 miles / 45 minutes / 106W / 17.1 mph
Dayy 14: Lift back / core / chest at O'Connell Center Gym, Swim 1250 yd. (this was a good workout with friends)

Overall it's been a great week, as I reflect back.  Work is a little slower-paced, allowing some time for reflection and a few more dinners at home.  The kids are all doing well and I am enjoying watching them really start to express their personalities, as well as develop genuine relationships with each other that do not depend on us.  And my wife, of course, is amazing. 

Today we went to the Retirement Home for Horses and fed carrots to horses with a few other families.  Great fun, and I even think I am getting used to the summer heat, finally.

Day 12/100: pleasure in daily activities

Today I got up and had a really nice breakfast with my family (eggs, sausage, bran muffin, watermelon).  It seems like a few years ago we had more of these breakfasts, but as life has gotten more complicated and a little busier, they have become a almost noteworthy events.  Lately, Jess and I both work out in the morning as well, so make mornings more hectic.  Today, however, we both slept in.  I'm not sure why breakfast is such a pleasant time--perhaps because everyone is in a generally good mood and not tired, because the food we eat for breakfast is usually quite tasty, or because sipping coffee provides a nice stimulant kick. 

Then I mowed the lawn, something I enjoy quite a bit.  In the grand scheme of things, this represents the continuation of my journey towards becoming more and more like my father (unequivocally a good thing!).  Today was especially relaxing as it wasn't yet hot and I listened to some music while I mowed.

Yoga practice for today was actually surprisingly intense and novel.  This was a YogaToday youtube video called Twisting Away Tension, which not only had some novel variations on both prayer twist and supine spinal twists, but had a great core section with leg and arm movements while holding boat pose.  I felt great afterwards.  It's still interesting to practice yoga while trying to ignore the distractions of playing and occasionally crying children nearby (somtimes next to or on top of me!).

I read with the kids for a little while, then took Cadien out for a bike lesson.  She has made some really good progress in the last few days, and I think I will be able to take my hand off the seat -- such a metaphorical step! -- before too long.  It's amazing to me, though, how these bike lessons are fatherhood in a microcosm:  a delicate balance of coaching, encouraging, teaching, comforting, and pushing.

Finally, I came to work for the evening.  So far it has been fairly low key but fun to get back to my "roots" as a pediatrician.

Day 11/100: clean living challenge

The clean living challenge continues.  There are three parts, if you recall: "clean" eating, yoga, and general approach to life.  I will discuss each individually (though, of course, they are interconnected).

Eating:

Don't worry, I won't list my daily menu for the last five days.  In general I've been doing ok, but not perfectly.  Transgressions include: beer the other night, a few protein bars (heavily processed), quesadillas and a burrito (processed flour, lots of cheese).  Aside from that, this has been going well.  I think my appetite is more reasonable and I don't experience a sickening feeling of fullness after dinner.  No desserts, and much less unhealthy snacking.

Yoga:

Yoga has been great.  I can feel my alignment and control improving, as well as strength in some specific poses, like shoulder stand, crane, side plank, wheel, and a few others.  Still have to watch my knee during some of the backbends and standing poses (warrior series).  I have also been incorporating some upper body lifting, mostly calisthenics, and I got in the pool for the first time in 4-5 years as well.  It is harder to swim 1000 m than I remember.  The highlight of the yoga series so far was yesterday's practice, a 75 minute series incorporating sun salutations / vinyasa, balance, backbends, hip openers, inversions, and pranayama.  One thing I have noticed more often lately is how much easier it is to engage the practice and keep my mind free from outside distractions and free from a sense of past or present.

General Approach to Life:

I can't say there have been any major breakthoughs or revelations here.  Perhaps minor and incremental changes are really the goal?  In that case, I have noticed a slight relaxation in my approach to the demands of work, a slight increase in my ability to be truly present at home, and some good conversations and thinking about our long term vision, as a family, of where our life is going.


In any case, 11 days of 100 puts this "challenge" in perspective, particularly with regard to yoga.  It is a challenge to do somethign every day, without fail, but I think there is something worthwhile there.  So, more than 10% done and hopefully the benefits will not be linear!

Day 6/100: Getting into the Flow

Yesterday (Day 5) I had a great yoga practice, one of my favorite: the "Grounding Afternoon Practice" from YogaYak.  This is a fairly fast-paced, moderate intensity vinyasa practice with a nice flow.  I actually lost myself for the second half of the practice, only regaining awareness of the surrounding world as the practice entered the final relaxation/shavasana.  That happens often in running but hasn't happened too much with yoga (or any other activity).  I welcome the feeling of losing myself.  Nutrition was fine yesterday though I did have a root beer when we had company over.  I actually consider eating with friends to be one of the sacred rituals (and highlights) of life, so it is hard to feel bad about enjoying food or drink in that context.  Breaking bread and sharing conversation is the stuff of life.

Today I haven't done yoga yet, but will later.  Making plans to do some swimming before work in the coming weeks, as the city pools are open early for very cheap per-use rates.

Day 4/100 of Clean Living Challenge

So far, so good.

My biggest triumph was completing my yoga practice yesterday despite a workday that didn't finish until 11:30 pm.  After a short relaxation practice, I squeaked by before midnight.  Otherwise I'm feeling well and enjoying (truly!) the already lessened drive to eat just one hour after finishing a meal.  Have I achieved lightness of being and spiritual awakening?  Well, not quite, but there are 96 days left, and after that, a lifetime.

Day 3: Yoga practice from Yoga Download - "Gentle Hatha Flow #1".  Sometimes the audio sessions are nice, relieving the need to look at a screen from an odd angle and allowing focus on movement and alignment.  Instead of relaxing me immediately, this lifted me from exhaustion and enabled me to fall asleep easily later rather than ruminate about the day.  Food: wheat bagel, boiled egg, banana; hummus sandwich, yogurt, carrots; falafel sandwich (purchased).

Day 4 (today):  Yoga DVD: Rodney Yee's strength building yoga - an interesting and fairly slow paced set of 2 (really 3) sections focusing on vinyasa, inversions, and standing poses.  Contains an intense section of handstand preparations.  Food: bagel (white!) with cream cheese, turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat pita, carrots, apple, yogurt; brown rice/beans/chicken sausage, green beans, yogurt, orange.

I haven't written much about our garden here.  One of my small, daily pleasures is walking into the yard and seeing how the garden is doing.  Cucumbers were an early promising harvest, although the cucumbers, melon, and zucchini are mostly killed by mold now.  We have corn, carrots, tomatoes (lots!), green beans, and peppers growing; the herb row has been providing daily "spice" in our lives for a couple of months now...

It's getting hot, so we'll see how everything does in the summer.