Retrospective and Resolutions

I conceived of this post as a 2011 retrospective, with some 2012 resolutions thrown in.  Having looked back on the year through iPhoto, Facebook timeline, and this blog, I came away with a few surprises and a few memories.  Current state probably influences memory more than the past events themselves, so I will say that after a wonderful few days at home, a great afternoon, and a cold beer in the backyard while the kids played, the year's memories seem pretty darn good.  I don't think that's far from the truth.

As far as fitness goes, this was an odd year.  My knee has been "acting up" since October 2010 (and was probably injured about a year before that), so my running has been just weird.  I had a good training cycle through the fall of 2010 despite the knee, and this paid off big time in February 2011 with a P.R. marathon here in town.  Running since then has been spotty, and I am in fact having surgery on my right lateral meniscus in three days.  I do think there is a good chance it will help, and look forward the the post-rehab "Don't call it a comeback..."  The beauty of an injury, in truth, is that it helps you focus on other things.  In no particular order, I have spent a lot of time on yoga, lifting, and road biking.  A highlight of the year was traveling to Georgia with my good friend Gary and riding the Three Gap Fifty, the mini-version of the Six Gap Century.  Yoga has acted as a semi-spiritual bridge between working out and meditation (a need previously fulfilled by running).  Lifting continues to feel good.  Currently, I have also sprained my right wrist, so all my activities are limited, but that, too, has its place and time.

Food has been another focus of the year.  As with most of us, I have been trying to get ride of that "last" 5 or 10 pounds for quite a while -- don't worry, I don't think I'm fat, but I know my weight and body shape when I've been really fit.  After some unsuccessful and perhaps fairly insincere attempts to eat better or less, I finally gave the "Paleo" concept a try, and holy shit, it worked.  For six weeks, six days a week, I ate only meat, vegetables, fruit, beans, and nuts/seeds.  Beer was allowed.  The seventh day was "cheat day."  By the end of the six weeks I had lost 7-8 pounds, was fitting into pants I haven't worn since 2004, and definitely noticed an improvement in energy level.  I try very hard to avoid proselytizing diets (or anything, for that matter), and I am still working to integrate this into my everyday, permanent life -- perhaps cycling the diet for six weeks on and two weeks off -- but it has been quite a good thing for me at this time.

Although this has been primarily a "fitness" blog - a little more varied than in 2010 since I haven't been able to run much, there are more important things in life than fitness.  What else has happened this year?  I continue to enjoy and treasure my family - my wife and our three children - as we grow and develop a sense of internal home-ness. Slowly but surely we are moving forward from the utter shock (and awe) of raising young children after a fairly active and free single and early married life.  We are fortunate to be living near my parents, and to be involved in a wonderful church (not coincidentally, the church I grew up in).  It has been challenging to continue moving around while I complete (slog through?) medical training:  challenging to develop a true feeling of home, challenging to nurture friendships and relationships, andchallenging to feel settled.  We do have wonderful friends here, wonderful friends elsewhere, and a large and loving extended family.

Our major vacation this summer was a long road trip to visit old friends and see family, and it was a true highlight of the year.  This was actually an awakening to what adventures we are capable of in this (still) new phase of life.  While the road trip may have been a crystallizing event, gardening has been the slow-burn, everyday reminder of family togetherness, growth, creativity, and fun.  We are fortunate in Florida to have two growing seasons per year, and although the productivity may not have been high, it has been a tonic to prepare the earth and plant with the children, to eat fresh herbs every night with dinner, and to go and inspect the rows every evening.

Looking forward by first looking backward:  how did the resolutions for 2011 hold up (the first list was of general goals, the second list was fitness-related goals)?
1) Presence.
   --> sometimes2) Develop the less cynical, humbler, and less judgmental self.
  --> still needs to come out3) Meet Jess's needs and wants before my own.
  --> I hope this happened enough, but I want to make it happen much more.4) Garden and eat the food!
  --> Yes!!

1) Maintain consistently healthful diet - devise a sustainable way to deal with temptations, convenience, etc.

  --> Finally, yes.

     - This includes reducing caffeine intake to a reasonable level.

          --> A cruel joke.
2) Regular yoga to lead to meditation alone.

  --> Not yet, but working on it.
3) Real periodization of training. (i.e. approach it like real training!)

  --> Some success

3) Regular cycling and leg strength training to begin after February marathon, to prevent recurrence of knee injury

  --> Happening

4) Regular speed/tempo training (running).

  --> For the future.

6) Repeat p90x with Jess!! (Start date: mid-March)

  --> Not interested for now.

7) Plan +/- train for ultramarathons to progress to 100 mile run.

  --> For the future

8) Less drama about getting up for pre-dawn workouts - just do it.

  --> Unsuccessful.

So what about 2012 resolutions?  Here is what I had come up with as of New Year's Eve:
1. Bike to work consistently.
2. Less caffeine.
3. Regular time of day for exercise.
4. Focus on injury prevention
5. Tolerate more "chaos" at home -- a combination of being present and controlling anxiety!
6. Continue cycled paleo diet.
7. Make a career decision (i.e. get a job versus further training) and don't look back.


But, just today I saw that a friend had posted Woody Guthrie's 1942 New Years Resolutions, which summarize the heart of the matter far better.  So, I leave you with that.

Day 28/100: A lotta variety

It's been a good week+ since my last post.  My "clean living" challenge is still on.  The nutrition aspect has been fair.  I've been successful with reduced portions and very few desserts or sweets, although I am still far from true "healthy" eating (whatever that is).  Borrowed and read The Paleo Solution, which was better than expected.  Jess and I may explore the Paleo eating concept more during this 100 days, although I'm not sure it's the ultimate answer in terms of balance and healthy approach.  We will have the opportunity to eat a largely local/organic diet while vacationing this summer, so it might be a good time to experiment.  Exercise and body work are going well also, and I've detailed these below.  Finally, I think I have noticed a change in attitude, a (slightly) more relaxed and accepting approach.  Have others noticed?  Not sure.  I do feel better, but I'm not sure whether that is due more to my intentional changes or to an easier month at work and an upcoming vacation.


The workouts:

Day 20: Mountain Bike ~45 minutes; Yoga 15 minutes (surprisingly intense vinyasa flow)

Day 21: Yoga 30 min, "Yoga 201" on iPad.  This was a very nice practice, with some attention focused on balance poses including crane and sideways crow.  A bit of a breakthrough for me in terms of figuring out what to relax and what to hold in tension in order to achieve balance in these poses.

Tuesday, Day 22: Rest Day.  Although my intent was to do 100 days of yoga in a row, then 100 days of workouts in a row, I accepted a day of rest after 3 hours of sleep the night before and mental/physical tiredness.  I think this was the right thing.

Wednesday, Day 23: Road bike, 21+ miles, 96 degree heat.  Wow, I am somewhat deconditioned but very poorly heat-adapted this summer because I haven't been running.  I rode a familiar course with some very mild hills and got my heart rate up much higher than usual for a short road ride!  So I guess it was a good workout despite the objectively "easy" terrain.  Never underestimate a heat challenge.

Thursday, Day 24: Swim 1200 yards at the good old YMCA.

Friday, Day 25: VO2 Max testing,  Lifting/Calisthenics
This was a really cool day.  I had the opportunity to undergo some metabolic exercise testing on an indoor bike, equipped with oxygen and carbon dioxide sensors.  In addition to estimating my VO2 max (46 ml/kg/min - above average for my age but below average for a good athlete!!), I got a sense of my anaerobic threshold, heart rate response, and several other parameters.  This is actually pretty cool, since I am probably the least cardiovascularly fit I've been in years.  Once I get my knee in line and begin running again, I will repeat this to track progress!
Also did some pull-ups (30), core work (weighted incline situps), and bicep dumbbell sets.

Saturday, Day 26: Yoga 1:05- a fantastic practice from an iPad app ("Fire" TotalYoga TV).  This was the the fastest and most sustained vinyasa progression I've done, along with some inversion and headstand work.  In fact, I've added a few yoga poses to my Fitness Goals list, including headstand and a few others.

Sunday, Day 27: Rest Day.  Best intentions, but long day at work.

Today (Monday), Day 28: Indoor bike power intervals 9 miles / 30 minutes; lift shoulder & triceps (dumbbell work), push-ups, swim planned for tonight.


We are preparing to spend part of the summer at Kezar Lake in Western Maine, where part of Jess's family has gone for decades and where I have had the privilege of joining them now for 10+ years!  This is a relaxing, renewing spot (pictured on the top banner of this blog), and also the site of many a nice run (including a 35 miler around the lake in 2007) and a few nice rides over the years.   This will not be the summer for an epic run, but I am hoping to run a few times, swim some, and generally enjoy the area.

Day 19/100 clean living continues

The last week or so has been a good one for clean living.  My nutritional habits are far from perfect, but in general they have tended towards healthier and smaller portions, with less refined sugar and late-night eating.  Like I said, though, I am far from perfect, as I did enjoy a vintage cola this afternoon.  I had to laugh when I was told it is healthier because it has "real" sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  If we're going to do something unhealthy but fun, let's just admit it!   I have yet to try fasting but would still like to incorporate it in some fashion.  Perhaps skipping a meal to start?  Finally, I am reading The Paleo Solution, a book about a dietary regimen that several of my friends are following.  So far it is mildly interesting but not earth shattering.  However it is not completely full of shit (yet) so I will keep reading.  Reflecting back, I've read a lot of books like this:  Atkins's original book, one called Breaking the Sugar Addiction (probably the best one), and many vegetarian, vegan, and live food tracts.  It's interesting how they often use the same logic to reach different conclusions.  I think in the end we can approach but never reach some very difficult-to-characterize truth about nutrition that incorporates moderation, healthfulness, variety, and minimizing refined sugars.  Or, perhaps that opinion is uninformed because I have never committed to and tried any of these specific diet plans.

Yoga has been going well, although after about 14 straight days I realized that at this point a daily practice was not the best idea.  Logic as follows: (1) in order to maintain a daily practice, I had time for very little other training, working out, etc.  (2) Because of that, my daily practice had to be fairly vigorous, requiring a lot of standing poses with lunges.  (3) These were irritating my knee.  So, instead, I decided to follow my own nutrition philosophy in a different context, and started practicing moderation and variety.  Here is what I've been up to:

Day 19 (today): Yoga (~1 hour) - "Ashtanga Primary Series" from Yoga Today.  Plenty of vinyasa with some standing poses and forward bends.  Also a nice series in preparation for swinging ("floating") through from downward dog to staff pose and vice versa.  The more I explore yogatoday.com the more I am impressed.  These are some nice practices, and many are available for free on Youtube. I may overcome my cheap instincts and actually buy one from the website too.
Day 18:  Lifting.  This was like an old-school workout for me:
Repeat 4 times:  5 pullups
                         15 pushups (various types)
                         15 weighted incline situps
                         bicep dumbbells (2 sets regular, 2 sets static)
                         tricep dumbbells (2 sets bench DB raises, 2 sets kickbacks)
                         shoulder 1 (2 sets straight arm raise, 2 sets overhead press)
                         shoulder 2 (2 sets upright DB row, 2 sets DB fly)
Bonus set:  5 pullups, 15 pushups, 15 weighted incline situps
Day 17: Swim 1500 yd
Day 16: Yoga 30 minutes. "Yoga for sleep" from YogaYak

Day 15: Indoor bike 12.7 miles / 45 minutes / 106W / 17.1 mph
Dayy 14: Lift back / core / chest at O'Connell Center Gym, Swim 1250 yd. (this was a good workout with friends)

Overall it's been a great week, as I reflect back.  Work is a little slower-paced, allowing some time for reflection and a few more dinners at home.  The kids are all doing well and I am enjoying watching them really start to express their personalities, as well as develop genuine relationships with each other that do not depend on us.  And my wife, of course, is amazing. 

Today we went to the Retirement Home for Horses and fed carrots to horses with a few other families.  Great fun, and I even think I am getting used to the summer heat, finally.

Day 12/100: pleasure in daily activities

Today I got up and had a really nice breakfast with my family (eggs, sausage, bran muffin, watermelon).  It seems like a few years ago we had more of these breakfasts, but as life has gotten more complicated and a little busier, they have become a almost noteworthy events.  Lately, Jess and I both work out in the morning as well, so make mornings more hectic.  Today, however, we both slept in.  I'm not sure why breakfast is such a pleasant time--perhaps because everyone is in a generally good mood and not tired, because the food we eat for breakfast is usually quite tasty, or because sipping coffee provides a nice stimulant kick. 

Then I mowed the lawn, something I enjoy quite a bit.  In the grand scheme of things, this represents the continuation of my journey towards becoming more and more like my father (unequivocally a good thing!).  Today was especially relaxing as it wasn't yet hot and I listened to some music while I mowed.

Yoga practice for today was actually surprisingly intense and novel.  This was a YogaToday youtube video called Twisting Away Tension, which not only had some novel variations on both prayer twist and supine spinal twists, but had a great core section with leg and arm movements while holding boat pose.  I felt great afterwards.  It's still interesting to practice yoga while trying to ignore the distractions of playing and occasionally crying children nearby (somtimes next to or on top of me!).

I read with the kids for a little while, then took Cadien out for a bike lesson.  She has made some really good progress in the last few days, and I think I will be able to take my hand off the seat -- such a metaphorical step! -- before too long.  It's amazing to me, though, how these bike lessons are fatherhood in a microcosm:  a delicate balance of coaching, encouraging, teaching, comforting, and pushing.

Finally, I came to work for the evening.  So far it has been fairly low key but fun to get back to my "roots" as a pediatrician.

Day 11/100: clean living challenge

The clean living challenge continues.  There are three parts, if you recall: "clean" eating, yoga, and general approach to life.  I will discuss each individually (though, of course, they are interconnected).

Eating:

Don't worry, I won't list my daily menu for the last five days.  In general I've been doing ok, but not perfectly.  Transgressions include: beer the other night, a few protein bars (heavily processed), quesadillas and a burrito (processed flour, lots of cheese).  Aside from that, this has been going well.  I think my appetite is more reasonable and I don't experience a sickening feeling of fullness after dinner.  No desserts, and much less unhealthy snacking.

Yoga:

Yoga has been great.  I can feel my alignment and control improving, as well as strength in some specific poses, like shoulder stand, crane, side plank, wheel, and a few others.  Still have to watch my knee during some of the backbends and standing poses (warrior series).  I have also been incorporating some upper body lifting, mostly calisthenics, and I got in the pool for the first time in 4-5 years as well.  It is harder to swim 1000 m than I remember.  The highlight of the yoga series so far was yesterday's practice, a 75 minute series incorporating sun salutations / vinyasa, balance, backbends, hip openers, inversions, and pranayama.  One thing I have noticed more often lately is how much easier it is to engage the practice and keep my mind free from outside distractions and free from a sense of past or present.

General Approach to Life:

I can't say there have been any major breakthoughs or revelations here.  Perhaps minor and incremental changes are really the goal?  In that case, I have noticed a slight relaxation in my approach to the demands of work, a slight increase in my ability to be truly present at home, and some good conversations and thinking about our long term vision, as a family, of where our life is going.


In any case, 11 days of 100 puts this "challenge" in perspective, particularly with regard to yoga.  It is a challenge to do somethign every day, without fail, but I think there is something worthwhile there.  So, more than 10% done and hopefully the benefits will not be linear!

Day 6/100: Getting into the Flow

Yesterday (Day 5) I had a great yoga practice, one of my favorite: the "Grounding Afternoon Practice" from YogaYak.  This is a fairly fast-paced, moderate intensity vinyasa practice with a nice flow.  I actually lost myself for the second half of the practice, only regaining awareness of the surrounding world as the practice entered the final relaxation/shavasana.  That happens often in running but hasn't happened too much with yoga (or any other activity).  I welcome the feeling of losing myself.  Nutrition was fine yesterday though I did have a root beer when we had company over.  I actually consider eating with friends to be one of the sacred rituals (and highlights) of life, so it is hard to feel bad about enjoying food or drink in that context.  Breaking bread and sharing conversation is the stuff of life.

Today I haven't done yoga yet, but will later.  Making plans to do some swimming before work in the coming weeks, as the city pools are open early for very cheap per-use rates.