Thoughts on running, injury, and the real challenge.

So it's been over two months since my most recent marathon, and I feel like my body has been betraying me.  My knee is perhaps a little better than it was during the peak of training, and I've even had a (single) nearly pain-free run.  But, on Saturday I was severely punished as I tried to keep up with some friends who were faster.  I have no problem working hard to keep up, but after about four miles (and a water break perfect for stiffening up) I fell quite far behind and my knee hurt a lot.   To top it all off, when I went over the handlebars on my mountain bike a few weeks ago, I tweaked my shoulder pretty well.   Even yoga yesterday morning put too much strain on the shoulders.   So, currently, not only can't I run, but I can't lift or do push-ups or pull-ups.  Luckily cycling seems ok, and stadiums steps aren't too bad.  That along with some core exercises and stretching (as well as non vinyasa-based yoga practices) are still within reach.  Still, given that my goal a few years ago was to develop better overall fitness, I have had more injuries over the past 16 months (neck, wrist, both knees, shoulder) than in the past 7.  In addition, I am about 8-10 pounds above what I consider my ideal weight, and with about half my fitness activities inaccessible due to injuries,  I am having a bit of trouble trimming off the fat.

Is this a case of my body "trying to tell me something," a way of expressing that despite some really good progress in developing overall fitness I need to find a way to acknowledge and work within my physical limitations?  Is this just age catching up?  Is this, as my physical therapist would say, just my poor flexibility and very tight iliotibial bands making their presence known?  Is this a somatic manifestation of emotional stress, which has certainly been higher recently?  What does this mean......?

I take some solace in the fact that even elite ultrarunners get injured, as I discovered by chance right before starting to write this post.  I've decided to take a full 30 days off running (meaning the soonest I will be "allowed" to run is May 25th, after some time concentrating on physical therapy, maintaining basic fitness, and reconnecting with my bikes.  More importantly I think this will be a nice opportunity to reset and build my training from the ground up.  When I start running again it will be nearly June, well into our beloved hot and humid season.  So, as I start the heat will limit me as much as my true "fitness," and my hope is that I will be able to rebuild with good form, improved strength and flexibility, and the incorporation of regular speedwork.

In the larger sense, though, I have to look at this 10 year running journey and ask "what if I simply can't run long distances regularly anymore," or even "what if I can't run at all anymore?"  A small thing, but the reality is that I think running saved me from a life of being overweight, out of shape, and probably less happy.  In summer 2001 I was 195 pounds and unfit; over the next year I dropped to 157 and ran my first marathon.  I have gotten into some cool stuff since then, and although I have had fun with triathlon, cycling, skiing, lifting, yoga, and other things, I have never forgotten my running roots (hence the title of this blog).  So, if I can't run anymore, can I still maintain a healthy life?  Can I still trim the fat -- both physical and metaphorical?  I think so, but the nagging fear especially with a leg injury is that I won't be able to keep it up.  I know this is a relatively minor injury, which will probably improve after PT (or worst case: MRI, surgery, then PT!), but the nagging fear is there to be dealt with.  That is the real challenge.  I can hop on the indoor bike with a DVD in as easily as going on a run, but I think some of the joy will be lost until I can put on shorts, lace up my shoes, and step out of the door and run down the road.

Heat challenge and rediscovery

A good week so far:

Today (Wednesday):  Started formal physical therapy for my knee.  I liked the PT and his student so I think it should be helpful.  We'll see how well I'm able to refrain from running, though.

Yesterday (Tuesday):  Mixed ab/core workout (AM); 4 mile run (PM)
Wow - a two-a-day!  The afternoon run was snuck in between my workday and my worknight, and let me tell you, when I stepped out of the hospital at 3pm it was hot.  I found out later that we broke a heat record for the date.  Great.  After two miles I was parched and after three miles I had to stop for water and a rest.  I don't mean I felt like stopping, but I really had to stop.  Every season it amazes me how even a slight heat challenge is, well, such a challenge, and how the brain/body can so adeptly put the brakes on effort until acclimatized.  Not a bad run, but a hard one.

Monday: rest

Sunday:  Mountain bike 2 hours / 13 miles
First time on the mountain bike in about two years, on a beautiful day with a good friend.  I took a bit of a tumble over the handlebars but otherwise had a great time.  Spring is in the air even as the sun begins to bake overhead.

Saturday: Run 6.25 miles

Staycation week

This week has been great.  I took a week vacation with no plans other than to spend time with my family and get a few projects done around the house.  Uncharacteristically, I did not get involved in an elaborate home improvement project, so I really have been enjoying a relaxing week.  The weather has been about the best that Florida has to offer, with cool (by that I mean high 50s or low 60s) mornings with mid-80s during the afternoon.   I had been feeling rather lazy and inactive over the last few weeks, but this week I got plenty done.  I'm also very proud of Jess, who is getting up every morning for the p90x workouts.  I join her, sometimes.  Here is the week so far, in reverse chronological order.

Today: Rest day / Bike 7.5 miles with 35-75 pound load.

I took Rowan in the double bike trailer to pick up Cadien at her new school.  My new mantra is cross-training, so this was a perfect way to spend a low-key day.  Luckily I took the mountain bike, so there were plenty of small gears with which to haul two very substantial children up the best hills Gainesville has to offer.  I have little hope of getting back into my former biking shape, for the next few years anyway, but I really do want to get back into cycling.  I think my ongoing knee problems really re-surfaced as I stopped cycling regularly over the last 2-3 years.  Since my knees were a big part of what caused me to take up triathlon 9 years ago, it may not be a bad idea to retrain my legs and quads.  I won't have the time to slog through 120 mile training rides, but something once weekly in the 20-50 range with a quick indoor bike interval session as well should be feasible.

Wednesday: Yoga 45 minutes; Bike 7.5 miles with 0-40 pound load.

Got up with Jess and did a very free-form yoga practice next to her while she stretched.  After almost two years of yoga I am  able to put together a routine that progresses naturally and feels vigorous, although I'm sure my form does not justify striking out on my own.  This made me feel great all day, and the ride to pick Cadien up in the bike trailer was icing on the cake.  The day was also fantastic, with a very cool morning (don't worry New England friends, I won't dare use the word "crisp") and a warm afternoon. I also sanded the playground this morning - not too bad as it is only 8 months since we installed it!

Tuesday: Run 4.25 miles; Biceps / Pullups

Run 4.25 miles

6 sets of:

   -5 pullups or 5 chinups (1,3,5 pullups; 2,4,6 chinups)

   - one set bicep dumbbell (1&4: bicep curls; 2&5: hammer curls; 3&6: cross-body curls)

This was a good one, and I am still feeling it 48+ hours later.  This workout made me feel that I was pushing through a fog of torpor and re-committing to fitness.

Monday: p90x "Core Synergistics"

I dragged myself out of bed to do this workout with Jess.  It was great.  A lot of plank-based moves, with some weighted lunges/squats.  Would be great to add knees-to-elbows or Turkish get-ups as well but haven't done that yet.

Sunday: Run 5 miles (in Naples, FL).

It was hot.  As usual, though, a great way to explore a new place.  Although I tried to run along the beach, the best I got was a view of some very expensive-looking beachfront property.

The perfect 10

The other day I got it into my head to write about the sublime moments in life -- for example, sitting outside on a perfect evening sipping a beer with friends, watching the kids play together, holding hands with my wife during an unexpected moment together, enjoying a certain breeze or sensation on a pleasant run.  You get the picture.

Then I got to thinking about the "perfect day," which in the pre-lottery winning era goes something like this:  wake up after a good night's sleep, enjoy a hard workout, have a good breakfast and a cup of strong coffee, spend a some time with the family, and head to work or the day's activity.  The great thing about that kind of day is that no matter what happens afterwards, it is hard to mess up a start like that.

But who am I really kidding?  We all know that there is one thing that belongs on both of those lists but is missing because of squeamish social convention:  a nice, "perfect 10" crap.  You know, the kind that starts building at a time when you are both able to go immediately and relaxed enough that it comes out perfectly;  the kind that is substantial and not too hard or soft;  the kind that leaves no mess and barely takes one square of toilet paper.  Even better is the rare but strangely beautiful footlong or thirteen-incher that you have known you are due for for days.  I think the buildup is key -- the physiology of defecation is fascinating, with a complex interplay of neural stimuli that build to the "mass movement" (yes, it really is called this).   We all know that you have to take advantage of the moment, when you can poop it out without straining or pushing, but well before you are crowning and have to let it sneak back up inside.

So many factors play into the perfect 10 that, for me at least, it is not an everyday experience.  Maybe I'll have a few good days in a row (usually weekend or vacation days!), but a good crap on a daily basis is a goal that seems to evaporate when I come too close.  Perhaps that is why it is so sublime.  So I'll pause and enjoy it when I can, suffering through the strained and messy affairs of those other days so I can enjoy one of life's true pleasures.

Happy Run

I can honestly say that I have never regretted a run - as far as I can remember, anyway.  It is like a chemical reaction with a variable activation energy but a predictable release of energy once complete.  Yesterday, after a rewarding but long weekend with the kids, with the weather hot and sticky for the first time this season, I was tired.  After dinner I felt the old familiar urge, laced up my shoes, and took off.  The warm up was painful and I thought about "just taking a walk", but my body responded and after half a mile I was feeling great on a trail under a canopy of trees.  I read recently about the various chemicals released during a run - endogenous opioids / endorphins for pain control and the "runner's high", serotonin, catecholamines, and finally endogenous cannabinoids for the sense of well being lasting up to 48 hours.  I wonder what the chemical profile in yoga is, as it is the only thing that leaves me feeling even close to a good run.

Working out with Jess over the last few weeks has been fun - she has started p90x and I have been doing some of the workouts with her.  More importantly I have been getting up early before work, at least most days of the week, and really enjoying the time, exercise, and shared challenge of a tough workout.  This is paradoxically important when I am busy and sleep-deprived; despite my own self-sabotagiong when the alarm goes off, the hour of exercise and reflective time is almost always worth the lost hour of sleep.

Saturday: AM: p90x "arms and shoulders"  PM: indoor bike 30 min

Sunday: AM: 37 burpees  PM: run 3 mi

Today: 14 burpees / rest

Tomorrow: yoga and pullups

Trail of Payne and more

My March postings in this blog have been lacking,  though not for lack of desire or (at least mildly) interesting thoughts to share.  I've been busy, mostly with work.  Here is a run down of the month's activities so far:

GARDEN
We planted our family's Spring garden, and our first garden in Florida.  This is our most ambitious one yet, a 12 x 12 foot patch in a sunny part of our backyard.  I tilled the soil with hand tools, took out some roots, and added topsoil, peat moss, organic fertilizer (mostly chicken shit as far as my nose could tell) and some cow manure.  Our own compost will be a periodic addition once it processes a little bit more.  Cadien helped me dig the soil, and both Rowan and Cadien helped plant seedlings today - many herbs, tomatoes, cucumber, beans, blueberry, strawberry, watermelon, broccoli.  We'll add a few more things, and then see what grows well!

RACE
Jess and I ran a trail 10K - the "Trail of Payne" through Payne's prairie - yesterday.  It was a perfect morning, about 60 degrees, and a nice trail.  It was really nice to run a race with no pressure or expectations - in fact we ran together for four miles and then I split off for a couple.  At the finish we ran into people from several areas of our life - work, church, running friends, and other acquaintances.  Brunch afterwards was gut-busting, but fun.

TONY
Jess has started P90X and I am doing it with her, as my knee and work schedule permits.  Maybe this will be the push I need to start getting up early to exercise before work!  (Of course when I did P90X two years ago it was supposed to do the same thing, but I just ended up doing a lot of the workouts in the evening!)  Burpee war has also started again - an Ides of March tradition.

KNEE
Still painful but recovering.  Definitely improved on this recent trail race versus trail runs a few months ago but still quite painful.  Hauling 50 pound bags of soil didn't help.  I'll give it another month or so and perhaps see someone.

DIET?
My weight has crept up to about 10 pounds over my "race weight" - the highest it's been in a long time and probably a good signal to focus on healthful eating.  A good friend of mine fasts once a week but I'm not sure this would work for me.  Just more attention to both quality and quantity.

That was the scattered update.  Life is good.

Back to normal (?)

After a big race there is always a time lag before I really feel normal again.  This has to do with some physical elements, like recovering from the race itself and letting the inflammation subside; some psychological elements, like the short-lived thrill and then the longer lived "what's next?"; and some outside elements like travel last weekend (Disney World), and working and living out of town most weekdays of the last month.  Part of the out-of-town situation has been me eating poorly (meaning well, depending on your point of view!), so salt overload and large meals have been adding to the slow return of normalcy.  We had a great time at Disney World, but it is no way a "normal" place!

After a great weekend at home, though, I finally think I am feeling like myself -- I got to spend a good amount of time with Jess and the kids.  We spent most of Sunday afternoon digging  a garden plot - a 12x12 foot area with many, many tree roots.  Long after the girls lost interest in helping me dig, which they did with enthusiasm for quite a while, I was  preparing for an epic battle with large root systems from two different trees.  My tools were primitive: a shovel, a handsaw, and a hedge trimmer.  I won the battle, I think, and I imagine the tree will be just fine as I barely scratched the surface.  A colleague today asked me: "why didn't you just rent a rototiller for the day" and I am afraid I didn't have a good answer.  Oh well.  We put off the planting for a few more weeks, and I am looking forward to the incredibly long growing season that our new location affords.  I am especially excited about the blueberry bush.

Next race:  the "Trail of Payne" - a local trail 10K through Payne's Prairie.  This will be coming up in a mere two weeks...

I have a lot of ideas about training that I am excited to try out; most involve regular speed/tempo work and building a more stable and permanent running base than I have had in the past.  First and foremost I am going to give this knee a break, and set a deadline to see a sports medicine doc and maybe get an MRI if it is really not a lot better.  I have to admit that I'm not too worried by the whole thing.  All the other injuries have healed on their own, and it will be a cold day in hell before I let a surgeon touch my knee for an inflammatory problem.