Thoughts on running, injury, and the real challenge.

So it's been over two months since my most recent marathon, and I feel like my body has been betraying me.  My knee is perhaps a little better than it was during the peak of training, and I've even had a (single) nearly pain-free run.  But, on Saturday I was severely punished as I tried to keep up with some friends who were faster.  I have no problem working hard to keep up, but after about four miles (and a water break perfect for stiffening up) I fell quite far behind and my knee hurt a lot.   To top it all off, when I went over the handlebars on my mountain bike a few weeks ago, I tweaked my shoulder pretty well.   Even yoga yesterday morning put too much strain on the shoulders.   So, currently, not only can't I run, but I can't lift or do push-ups or pull-ups.  Luckily cycling seems ok, and stadiums steps aren't too bad.  That along with some core exercises and stretching (as well as non vinyasa-based yoga practices) are still within reach.  Still, given that my goal a few years ago was to develop better overall fitness, I have had more injuries over the past 16 months (neck, wrist, both knees, shoulder) than in the past 7.  In addition, I am about 8-10 pounds above what I consider my ideal weight, and with about half my fitness activities inaccessible due to injuries,  I am having a bit of trouble trimming off the fat.

Is this a case of my body "trying to tell me something," a way of expressing that despite some really good progress in developing overall fitness I need to find a way to acknowledge and work within my physical limitations?  Is this just age catching up?  Is this, as my physical therapist would say, just my poor flexibility and very tight iliotibial bands making their presence known?  Is this a somatic manifestation of emotional stress, which has certainly been higher recently?  What does this mean......?

I take some solace in the fact that even elite ultrarunners get injured, as I discovered by chance right before starting to write this post.  I've decided to take a full 30 days off running (meaning the soonest I will be "allowed" to run is May 25th, after some time concentrating on physical therapy, maintaining basic fitness, and reconnecting with my bikes.  More importantly I think this will be a nice opportunity to reset and build my training from the ground up.  When I start running again it will be nearly June, well into our beloved hot and humid season.  So, as I start the heat will limit me as much as my true "fitness," and my hope is that I will be able to rebuild with good form, improved strength and flexibility, and the incorporation of regular speedwork.

In the larger sense, though, I have to look at this 10 year running journey and ask "what if I simply can't run long distances regularly anymore," or even "what if I can't run at all anymore?"  A small thing, but the reality is that I think running saved me from a life of being overweight, out of shape, and probably less happy.  In summer 2001 I was 195 pounds and unfit; over the next year I dropped to 157 and ran my first marathon.  I have gotten into some cool stuff since then, and although I have had fun with triathlon, cycling, skiing, lifting, yoga, and other things, I have never forgotten my running roots (hence the title of this blog).  So, if I can't run anymore, can I still maintain a healthy life?  Can I still trim the fat -- both physical and metaphorical?  I think so, but the nagging fear especially with a leg injury is that I won't be able to keep it up.  I know this is a relatively minor injury, which will probably improve after PT (or worst case: MRI, surgery, then PT!), but the nagging fear is there to be dealt with.  That is the real challenge.  I can hop on the indoor bike with a DVD in as easily as going on a run, but I think some of the joy will be lost until I can put on shorts, lace up my shoes, and step out of the door and run down the road.