Thoughts on running, injury, and the real challenge.

So it's been over two months since my most recent marathon, and I feel like my body has been betraying me.  My knee is perhaps a little better than it was during the peak of training, and I've even had a (single) nearly pain-free run.  But, on Saturday I was severely punished as I tried to keep up with some friends who were faster.  I have no problem working hard to keep up, but after about four miles (and a water break perfect for stiffening up) I fell quite far behind and my knee hurt a lot.   To top it all off, when I went over the handlebars on my mountain bike a few weeks ago, I tweaked my shoulder pretty well.   Even yoga yesterday morning put too much strain on the shoulders.   So, currently, not only can't I run, but I can't lift or do push-ups or pull-ups.  Luckily cycling seems ok, and stadiums steps aren't too bad.  That along with some core exercises and stretching (as well as non vinyasa-based yoga practices) are still within reach.  Still, given that my goal a few years ago was to develop better overall fitness, I have had more injuries over the past 16 months (neck, wrist, both knees, shoulder) than in the past 7.  In addition, I am about 8-10 pounds above what I consider my ideal weight, and with about half my fitness activities inaccessible due to injuries,  I am having a bit of trouble trimming off the fat.

Is this a case of my body "trying to tell me something," a way of expressing that despite some really good progress in developing overall fitness I need to find a way to acknowledge and work within my physical limitations?  Is this just age catching up?  Is this, as my physical therapist would say, just my poor flexibility and very tight iliotibial bands making their presence known?  Is this a somatic manifestation of emotional stress, which has certainly been higher recently?  What does this mean......?

I take some solace in the fact that even elite ultrarunners get injured, as I discovered by chance right before starting to write this post.  I've decided to take a full 30 days off running (meaning the soonest I will be "allowed" to run is May 25th, after some time concentrating on physical therapy, maintaining basic fitness, and reconnecting with my bikes.  More importantly I think this will be a nice opportunity to reset and build my training from the ground up.  When I start running again it will be nearly June, well into our beloved hot and humid season.  So, as I start the heat will limit me as much as my true "fitness," and my hope is that I will be able to rebuild with good form, improved strength and flexibility, and the incorporation of regular speedwork.

In the larger sense, though, I have to look at this 10 year running journey and ask "what if I simply can't run long distances regularly anymore," or even "what if I can't run at all anymore?"  A small thing, but the reality is that I think running saved me from a life of being overweight, out of shape, and probably less happy.  In summer 2001 I was 195 pounds and unfit; over the next year I dropped to 157 and ran my first marathon.  I have gotten into some cool stuff since then, and although I have had fun with triathlon, cycling, skiing, lifting, yoga, and other things, I have never forgotten my running roots (hence the title of this blog).  So, if I can't run anymore, can I still maintain a healthy life?  Can I still trim the fat -- both physical and metaphorical?  I think so, but the nagging fear especially with a leg injury is that I won't be able to keep it up.  I know this is a relatively minor injury, which will probably improve after PT (or worst case: MRI, surgery, then PT!), but the nagging fear is there to be dealt with.  That is the real challenge.  I can hop on the indoor bike with a DVD in as easily as going on a run, but I think some of the joy will be lost until I can put on shorts, lace up my shoes, and step out of the door and run down the road.

Heat challenge and rediscovery

A good week so far:

Today (Wednesday):  Started formal physical therapy for my knee.  I liked the PT and his student so I think it should be helpful.  We'll see how well I'm able to refrain from running, though.

Yesterday (Tuesday):  Mixed ab/core workout (AM); 4 mile run (PM)
Wow - a two-a-day!  The afternoon run was snuck in between my workday and my worknight, and let me tell you, when I stepped out of the hospital at 3pm it was hot.  I found out later that we broke a heat record for the date.  Great.  After two miles I was parched and after three miles I had to stop for water and a rest.  I don't mean I felt like stopping, but I really had to stop.  Every season it amazes me how even a slight heat challenge is, well, such a challenge, and how the brain/body can so adeptly put the brakes on effort until acclimatized.  Not a bad run, but a hard one.

Monday: rest

Sunday:  Mountain bike 2 hours / 13 miles
First time on the mountain bike in about two years, on a beautiful day with a good friend.  I took a bit of a tumble over the handlebars but otherwise had a great time.  Spring is in the air even as the sun begins to bake overhead.

Saturday: Run 6.25 miles

Staycation week

This week has been great.  I took a week vacation with no plans other than to spend time with my family and get a few projects done around the house.  Uncharacteristically, I did not get involved in an elaborate home improvement project, so I really have been enjoying a relaxing week.  The weather has been about the best that Florida has to offer, with cool (by that I mean high 50s or low 60s) mornings with mid-80s during the afternoon.   I had been feeling rather lazy and inactive over the last few weeks, but this week I got plenty done.  I'm also very proud of Jess, who is getting up every morning for the p90x workouts.  I join her, sometimes.  Here is the week so far, in reverse chronological order.

Today: Rest day / Bike 7.5 miles with 35-75 pound load.

I took Rowan in the double bike trailer to pick up Cadien at her new school.  My new mantra is cross-training, so this was a perfect way to spend a low-key day.  Luckily I took the mountain bike, so there were plenty of small gears with which to haul two very substantial children up the best hills Gainesville has to offer.  I have little hope of getting back into my former biking shape, for the next few years anyway, but I really do want to get back into cycling.  I think my ongoing knee problems really re-surfaced as I stopped cycling regularly over the last 2-3 years.  Since my knees were a big part of what caused me to take up triathlon 9 years ago, it may not be a bad idea to retrain my legs and quads.  I won't have the time to slog through 120 mile training rides, but something once weekly in the 20-50 range with a quick indoor bike interval session as well should be feasible.

Wednesday: Yoga 45 minutes; Bike 7.5 miles with 0-40 pound load.

Got up with Jess and did a very free-form yoga practice next to her while she stretched.  After almost two years of yoga I am  able to put together a routine that progresses naturally and feels vigorous, although I'm sure my form does not justify striking out on my own.  This made me feel great all day, and the ride to pick Cadien up in the bike trailer was icing on the cake.  The day was also fantastic, with a very cool morning (don't worry New England friends, I won't dare use the word "crisp") and a warm afternoon. I also sanded the playground this morning - not too bad as it is only 8 months since we installed it!

Tuesday: Run 4.25 miles; Biceps / Pullups

Run 4.25 miles

6 sets of:

   -5 pullups or 5 chinups (1,3,5 pullups; 2,4,6 chinups)

   - one set bicep dumbbell (1&4: bicep curls; 2&5: hammer curls; 3&6: cross-body curls)

This was a good one, and I am still feeling it 48+ hours later.  This workout made me feel that I was pushing through a fog of torpor and re-committing to fitness.

Monday: p90x "Core Synergistics"

I dragged myself out of bed to do this workout with Jess.  It was great.  A lot of plank-based moves, with some weighted lunges/squats.  Would be great to add knees-to-elbows or Turkish get-ups as well but haven't done that yet.

Sunday: Run 5 miles (in Naples, FL).

It was hot.  As usual, though, a great way to explore a new place.  Although I tried to run along the beach, the best I got was a view of some very expensive-looking beachfront property.

The perfect 10

The other day I got it into my head to write about the sublime moments in life -- for example, sitting outside on a perfect evening sipping a beer with friends, watching the kids play together, holding hands with my wife during an unexpected moment together, enjoying a certain breeze or sensation on a pleasant run.  You get the picture.

Then I got to thinking about the "perfect day," which in the pre-lottery winning era goes something like this:  wake up after a good night's sleep, enjoy a hard workout, have a good breakfast and a cup of strong coffee, spend a some time with the family, and head to work or the day's activity.  The great thing about that kind of day is that no matter what happens afterwards, it is hard to mess up a start like that.

But who am I really kidding?  We all know that there is one thing that belongs on both of those lists but is missing because of squeamish social convention:  a nice, "perfect 10" crap.  You know, the kind that starts building at a time when you are both able to go immediately and relaxed enough that it comes out perfectly;  the kind that is substantial and not too hard or soft;  the kind that leaves no mess and barely takes one square of toilet paper.  Even better is the rare but strangely beautiful footlong or thirteen-incher that you have known you are due for for days.  I think the buildup is key -- the physiology of defecation is fascinating, with a complex interplay of neural stimuli that build to the "mass movement" (yes, it really is called this).   We all know that you have to take advantage of the moment, when you can poop it out without straining or pushing, but well before you are crowning and have to let it sneak back up inside.

So many factors play into the perfect 10 that, for me at least, it is not an everyday experience.  Maybe I'll have a few good days in a row (usually weekend or vacation days!), but a good crap on a daily basis is a goal that seems to evaporate when I come too close.  Perhaps that is why it is so sublime.  So I'll pause and enjoy it when I can, suffering through the strained and messy affairs of those other days so I can enjoy one of life's true pleasures.